Mar 2, 2022
Question and Answer for 03 MAR
2022
Is it ok to start learning social
dancing in order to meet the opposite sex?
IMO There’s nothing wrong with
doing social dancing to meet the opposite sex. If you want dating
prospects you have to leave the house and do things. One of the
uses for dancing is social networking and creating a romantic
connection. (A dance can also be platonic).
There is going to be a plethora
of white knights who protest and say “if you are taking dance
classes to just impress the ladies, please find another hobby”. I
completely disagree with that. I see dance classes as an
opportunity to find somebody who also enjoys the same hobby as you.
People are often so quick to jump to the negative, but what about
the positive experiences? I met my last GF through social dancing,
and I am super happy and grateful for the time we spent
together.
If I were to give advice to
somebody who is looking to meet the opposite sex from dance
classes, I will say this.
“If you want to meet and attract
the opposite sex, become good at something. That is an EASY Way to
become attractive. If you can focus on becoming proficient at a
skill, attractiveness will come as a byproduct. This does not apply
to every skill/hobby. But luckily for you, it does apply to social
dancing. The best dancers have lines of people wanting to dance
with them. There is something about watching an individual excel at
their craft, its almost mesmerizing, inspiring. Why is it? I think
its because we understand that this person has dedicated time and
effort to become who they are. I believe they everyone understands
on a basic level, that anything worth something, you have to work
for. And so when we are able to find someone who is good at a
skill, we understand that this person has good traits and qualities
that we admire. This is why people love professional athletes, yes
they are physically gifted, but they have also dedicated years of
their life to a specific skillset. And if you are not a fan of
sports, think about your favorite movie actor or film director.
This people have dedicated their lives to their craft. Anyone can
turn on a camera and press record. Only the greats have the ability
to hold your attention. I say all this to say, Get good at your
dreams, desires, wants, and I believe everything else in life will
fall Into place.
This BF/GF starting dance classes
together. At some point the Boyfriend became more serious about the
dance. Now when they go to socials together, the BF is approached
by females, but the females never address the girlfriend (Say hi,
introduce themselves) they only talk to the BF. But the exact same
is true for the GF. Men will approach her and talk to her, but they
will not address the BF. The GF is becoming insecure about this
situation because she believes that these women are trying to make
a statement of how they have more power over the BF than she does
as the GF. I hope this makes sense to everyone.
dance socials are full of people
you may not know. if i see a friend standing next to a stranger, I
just naturally address my greeting to the friend. I do include the
other person in my greeting if I get the impression they are
important to my friend.
It sounds like the gf may be
getting insecure about the developing dance relationships with
other women. If so, the question is whether she can work through
her insecurities and maintain a trusting relationship with the BF.
You cannot do it for her, no matter how much you try. You can only
help her by being communicative and transparent, and making sure
she feels prioritized in your life.
It is very normal in dance
circles that leads get to know the follows and vice versa, because
we dance together. I'd also argue that the ladies tend to get to
know other ladies better than men get to know other men, because
commonly there are fewer leads than follows and ladies talk when
waiting for the next song. just remember that you make friends with
the people you’re dancing with. Most people dance most of the time
with the opposite gender. It’s not romantic or sexual, it’s just
following gender norms. Just reassure her that while you mostly
dance with women and therefore befriend lots of women, that’s just
because of the nature of the dance. You love the dance, but as far
as people go she’s your one & only. It doesn’t matter what the
other women do or think.
I am curious if people even know
that these two are couples? I would advise they both introduce the
other when someone comes over to speak. “Hey this is my BF or Hey
this is my GF”.
Like I said earlier, I think it’s
a natural thing when it comes to improving that people will want to
dance with you more and more. You can kind of see when sitting on
the side which leads really know what they’re doing and that makes
the dance more exciting and smooth.
Lastly I want to say, it may be
easy to act bravado or all machismo. But in all honesty, I’d
recommend focusing on acknowledging your partners feelings. As
silly and ridiculous as they may seem to you sometimes, the last
thing you want to do is dismiss their feelings. Reassure them that
you are not out there looking for a romantic
adventure.
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